H O W I T I S

Over the weekend I decided to go home as I was desperate for some countryside peace and quiet, seperation from London and family time. What upsets me when talking to my little sister is how cruel kids still are at that age. She is part of a group of girls who constantly seem to be putting eachother down, excluding each other and just generally silencing my little sister. Without sounding conceited, sometimes I wish I could give her a little fire to put these girls in their places. Now I won't say that I jumped off a table and threw a girl down in a middle school music lesson once, but I'm also not prepared to say I didn't either.

I remember when I was probably around eight years old I was told by an adult figure in my life that my strong will and opinions made me 'unruly', merely because if I did not agree with something I would question it, ask for it to be explained, justified and if I still did not understand someone's standpoint I would argue it. As an infant I was stroppy, hence how I got my nickname 'Tizzy'; as a child I was strong willed, my teachers would often call me stubborn, and my parents would probably have called me something a little less diplomatic. Now as an adult I am called 'sassy' and head strong, but also 'blunt' purely because I call it how it is. As if being a head strong female was a strike against me.

Being a person people percieve as blunt has always been something that I have had to battle with going through school and Uni. Unfortunately I have been cursed with 'resting bitch face' purely because I have inherited a permenant frown line inbetween my eyebrows from my Father (cheers Dad) which has never really helped the case.

A lot of my friends have told me, only after establishing that our friendship was longlasting, that their initial impression of me was very different to the reality, this is the same with past flings (cringe) who have called me an 'ice-queen' before even getting to know me.

However the term 'blunt' really frustrates me as it has so many negative connotations, when the reality is that the person branded it probably just values open honesty, and calls a situation how they see it. I grew up with divorced parents, two step parents and three sisters, just being heard was a struggle enough so direct communication was absolutely key. Why pussyfoot around the point and sugar coat things when it just prolongs the amount of time it takes for someone to say what they mean. If being direct is in your nature then you should not be made to feel bad about it.

My whole life I have been someone who knew that it would be disrespectful to myself to yeild to others when I had formed with my mind and moral compass my own opinions, whilst also not feeling it necessary to shove them down everyones throat. Except maybe that one time in middle school...Regardless, I only wish that now my own sister will find her voice and use it knowing that it will not hold her back now or in the future, instead it will make her fiercely independent and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In other news...speaking of being head strong, I managed to get persuaded by my own mother into getting my hair chopped this weekend in a 'blunt' cut - har de har.

More to follow!